Applejack

from by Sacha Mullin

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    Limited-run physical pressing of DUPLEX.
    Jewel case, with a hand-written note.
    Photography by Jim Newberry.

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about

© ALUMNI CLASH, BMI - mus./lyr./arr. Sacha Mullin
Produced by Sacha Mullin & Todd Rittmann

lyrics

Full of regret
I'm not obsessed,
But I am haunted
By one dear friendship that I ruined
Seems to echo back at me when I meet someone new
A fear of "will I hurt you too?";
A fear of singing about you

But that's how it is
I was obsessed
I was wrong for that,
Despite my pure intent
I love myself now, but I cringe at who I was
If only I had met you now,
But this is now, and not what was

God, growing up has such a learning curve
Thought I was fine, really had some nerve
I think I was intimidated
Put you on a nervous pedestal,
And that's simply not embracing you
Just a concept of what you do
Can't believe I played the fool

Applejack,
I really had me going
It really does my head in
When I think back

Applejack
I swear that somewhere within,
I could've been a good friend
But I drove off-track~

Full of regret, ooh
It's you
And the memory of the snare drum brushing
But everything 'bout me seemed to be off rhy~thm
'Wish I could call you, to explain
But I'd succumb to that old game

Of putting my foot straight into my mouth;
Awkward phrasing heads us to the south
Of a wonderful rapport
I've always been the odd sort

Applejack,
The cycle that I lived in;
That hole that I kept digging,
Was rather sad

Oh, Applejack,
I hope you'd cut me some slack
We were only teens, and at that,
Who knew that it would leave a stinging impact?

Remember when
I sassed Sam Dixon
At the Varsity?
I think we laughed at that for weeks.
Or walking to Al's and then waiting there for hours
Or being in your red Bug with
Nathaniel's upright bass backseat driving?

Though well and fine,
'Guess it takes tomes and time
To recognise
That while all things end,
That good can carry on
Beyond estrangement
Whilst it's an ancient ghost,
Just knowing you made me a better person
And that now I can give myself
The closure, the permission,
to move on

Applejack,
We're finally here at the end,
So here's the message I send:
I only wish you the best,
And you deserve nothing less
So sorry bout all this mess
I only wish you the best,
I only wish you the best,
I swear I'll give it a rest

credits

from Duplex, released July 15, 2017
SACHA MULLIN vocal; piano
EMILY BINDIGER vocal & chorus
MIKE BALDWIN bass
MATT PRECIN drums

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Sacha Mullin Chicago, Illinois

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